COPING WITH ADHD
Table of Contents
Introduction 3
What is ADHD? 5
What Causes ADHD? 11
Not My Child
Dealing with Your Feelings as a Parent 13
To Medicate or Not to Medicate 16
Specific Medications 18
Behavior Changes 20
Families and ADHD 27
Parenting an ADHD Child 31
Your ADHD Child’s Self Esteem 34
Anger and ADHD 37
Adult ADHD 41
Teaching an ADHD Child 48
Finding Support 58
Conclusion 59
INTRODUCTION
As recently as twenty years ago, the term Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder was virtually unheard of. It’s not that the malady wasn’t around; it’s just that the label hadn’t been coined back then.
In the 1980’s, ADHD kids were the problem ones in school. They couldn’t pay attention in class, they were constantly disorganized, and recess was a time of joy for them. They were always being yelled at and reprimanded and felt frustrated 95 percent of the time they spent at school.
This author was in grade school in the 1970’s. Having been diagnosed as a gifted child, school came easy to me. Unfortunately, so did boredom. That lack of activity manifested itself into a type of hyperactivity that these days would probably have been labeled as ADHD.
But in the past decade, the amount of ADHD diagnoses has skyrocketed. It seems like every single classroom has at least one child on medication for ADHD. Adults are even being diagnosed with Adult ADHD.
ADHD has gone from an obscure medical footnote to a household word in record time. Unfortunately, this disorder is largely misunderstood yet it is the most prevalent chronic health condition among school age children.
Many parents who have children diagnosed with ADHD feel like failures as parents. They perceive their children as being less than perfect which can cause amazingly strong feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. Misconceptions and preconceptions go along with this misinformation.
Even though the disorder is constantly in the forefront of health and educational issues, a true understanding of what ADHD is and how to treat it fails to sink in with the average person.
The causes of ADHD are not readily known and cannot be pigeonholed into a neat little container just as the behavior of an ADHD child cannot be labeled easily. All children are different – all children with ADHD are different. They react differently to situations, modifications, and medications.
The bottom line is that ADHD does exist and it can wreak havoc on families, parents, educators, and others when it is left untreated. ADHD is frustrating, stressful, and can make even the most stoic person flustered.
What are even scarier are the social implications that accompany a disorder like this. Consider the following:
- 21 percent of teens with ADHD skip school repeatedly.
- 35 percent eventually drop out of school.
- ADD/ADHD children are much more likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol.
- ADD/ADHD children are more likely to get into accidents.
- When ADD/ADHD kids don’t do well in school, their self-esteem drops and they are less likely to succeed as adults.
The good news is that there are many coping strategies out there to help you deal with an ADHD child. Medication helps, but you must modify other things such as environment, schedule, and attitude in order to effectively deal with ADHD.
This book will examine more closely those coping strategies. We’ll give you advice on how to maintain peace in your family and suggestions you can make to allow your child to help themselves.
If you are an adult with ADHD, you’re in luck as well. We’ll examine this part of the disorder. We’ll identify certain behaviors that you can change and help you figure out ways to minimize this disorder in your life so you can live more normally than ever before!
ADHD is here and it’s here to stay. The diagnosis isn’t a horrifying nightmare. It’s a step towards a better life for you, your child, and everyone around you!
WHAT EXACTLY IS ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER?
ADHD, or ADD as it is often referred, is thought to be a neurological disorder that has been present from childhood and manifests itself through a variety of behaviors. These include hyperactivity, forgetfulness, poor impulse control, and distractibility.
ADHD is thought to be a chronic syndrome – that is, one that cannot be cured, although it can be minimized and controlled. It is thought that this disorder affects between 3 and 5 percent of the United States population in children and adults.
Much controversy surrounds the diagnosis of ADHD. This includes the thought of whether a diagnosis of ADHD denotes a disability in the traditional sense or just describes the neurological property of the brain.
There are some medical personnel who believe that the condition isn’t biological but psychological in origin. The debate over how to treat ADHD is a constant source of discussion and debate in medical circles. Some advocate medication while others support behavior modification in order to minimize the symptoms.
No clear-cut solution has presented itself, however, and the generally preferred mode of treatment is medication. This can be disturbing for many people – especially when speaking of medicating small children. In fact, ADHD is often being diagnosed in children as young as 3 or 4. This causes opponents of the medication to become especially vocal.
But we’ll address that controversy a little later on in the book.
What we want to address most in this section is how to recognize the symptoms of ADHD and how to tell whether or not you or your child is just high-strung or if they truly suffer from this disorder.
One mother says the following about her child:
“I could wallpaper my bathroom with all the accident reports I received from Johnny’s preschool. From the time Johnny was very little, he always had a creative mind, was very energetic, very on-the-go and accident-prone. With him being my first, I just thought this was normal.
We met with the principal of Johnny’s school four times within his first month of attendance. I began to suspect that something might actually be wrong with my son. Then his teacher suggested that he be tested for ADHD.
At first, I thought ‘Oh my, there’s something wrong with my baby. Why us? Why him?”
This is a common reaction for most parents. No one wants to have their child be stricken with some type of disorder. What these parents need to realize is that the suggestion and then possible diagnosis isn’t a death sentence in any way. It’s a step toward taking responsibility for your child’s health or your health if you are an adult facing this.
While diagnosis of the disorder is complicated by the fact that there is no precise test to identify it, ADHD is defined by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) as a brain condition that makes it difficult for children to control their behavior.
Though the disorder can manifest itself in different ways, we’ve told you that children with ADHD tend to be inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive. Many children also experience trouble in school, difficulty in relationships with family members and their peers, academic underachievement and low self-esteem.
So, how do you recognize ADHD? The symptoms fall into two quite broad categories.
The first category is inattention. Symptoms include:
1. Failing to pay close attention to details or making careless mistakes when doing schoolwork or other activities
2. Trouble keeping attention focused during play or tasks
3. Appearing not to listen when spoken to
4. Failing to follow instructions or finish tasks
5. Avoiding tasks that require a high amount of mental effort and organization such as school projects
6. Frequently losing items required to facilitate tasks or activities such as school supplies
7. Excessive distractibility
8. Forgetfulness
9. Procrastination or inability to begin an activity
The second is Hyperactivity-Impulsive Behavior. Symptoms include:
1. Fidgeting with hands or feet
2. Squirming in a seat
3. Leaving a seat often even at inappropriate times
4. Running or climbing at inappropriate times
5. Difficulty during quiet play
6. Frequently feeling restless
7. Excessive talking
8. Answering a question before the speaker has finished or interrupting the activities of others at inappropriate times.
9. Failing to wait for one’s turn
A positive diagnosis is usually made if the person exhibits six or more of the above-named symptoms for at least three months. Symptoms must appear consistently in varied environments (home, school, etc.) and interfere with normal functioning.
People who are inattentive find it difficult to focus on a particular task and get bored quickly. While they may display effortless concentration doing things they enjoy, making a deliberate and conscious effort to organize and complete a task or to learn something new is difficult.
Hyperactive people seem to bounce off the walls with energy and just cannot sit still. Impulsive people don’t think before they act or speak. They have difficulty waiting for things to take their natural course. Everything must happen right away.
There have been times in all our lives when we have been overly impulsive, inattentive or hyperactive. But that does not mean that we are afflicted with ADHD. These behaviors are symptomatic of ADHD if they appear early in life, before the age of 7. However, the age of onset can vary and symptoms may even appear in early adolescence.
They must be excessive, long-term and pervasive. They must occur more often than in other people of the same age group. The behaviors must cause a real handicap in at least two areas of the person’s life such as school, home, work, or social interactions.
Boys are at least three times as likely as girls to develop the disorder. Some doctors feel that testing needs to be gender specific because the symptoms present themselves differently in boys versus girls which would account for the vast difference in numbers.
As a result of the disorder, children with ADHD often engage in disruptive activities and antisocial behavior that alienates their peers and other people around them. In addition, their academic performance tends to suffer because of their inattention and easy distractibility.
Parents of children with ADHD experience high stress levels that are linked to their extreme frustration in attempting to discipline their children. This can lead to problems in the marriage and in the worst case, even divorce.
Unfortunately, ADHD is not a disorder that disappears with time. ADHD persists into adulthood. However, the good news is that there are ways in which one can alleviate the symptoms.
We will cover coping strategies later on in this book, but it must be noted that ADHD won’t just go away.
The good news about ADHD is that recent years have seen an increase in the overall understanding of what the disorder looks like. We know that not every child with ADHD is hyperactive, and not every child who is inattentive has ADHD. This is great news and the good news just keeps on coming.
When you have a child who is diagnosed with ADHD or you, as an adult have been told that you have Adult ADHD, keep in mind that you are in the company of some pretty famous people who have, or still do, struggle with this disorder.
Consider the following list:
· Alexander Graham Bell – Inventor of the telephone
· Hans Christian Andersen – Author
· Beethoven – Composer
· Harry Belafonte – Actor, Composer
· Terry Bradshaw – Retired NFL Quarterback and Sports Commentator
· George Burns – Actor
· Admiral Richard Byrd – Navy Aviator
· Andrew Carnegie – Industrialist and Philanthropist
· Lewis Carroll – Author Alice in Wonderland
· Prince Charles – Future King of England
· Cher – Actress/Singer
· Winston Churchill – Statesman
· Bill Cosby – Actor
· Leonardo Da Vinci – Sculptor and Artist
· Thomas Edison – Inventor
· Albert Einstein – Inventor
· Dwight D. Eisenhower – Former President of the United States
· Benjamin Franklin – Politician, Inventor
· Michael Jordan – Basketball Player
· Abraham Lincoln – Former President of the United States
· Stephen Spielberg – Director, Film Maker
The list literally goes on and on and on. These people achieved notoriety for their achievements despite their shortcomings. They suffered from ADHD and overcame the diagnosis to become not only rich and famous, but remembered and revered for their creativity and leadership.
This could be you or your child. Don’t give up. Don’t blame yourself. Take control and take charge. ADHD can be controlled and sufferers can live normal, productive lives.
Some of you might be wondering what exactly the cause of ADHD is. The answer, unfortunately, isn’t as cut and dried as you might want it to be.
WHAT CAUSES THIS DISORDER?
It is only natural that parents who are told that their child has been diagnosed as having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) will want to know exactly what went wrong. Unfortunately, this is something to which they are not going to get a simple answer. Researchers are still uncertain about the underlying factors that cause ADHD.
Recent research indicates that ADHD is not a disorder of attention per se as researchers had assumed. It is linked to a developmental failure in the brain circuitry that underlies inhibition and self-control. This loss of self-control in turn impairs other important brain functions crucial for maintaining attention, including the ability to defer immediate rewards for later, greater gain.
Studies conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health in U.S.A. found that the right prefrontal cortex, two basal ganglia and the vermis region of the cerebellum are significantly smaller than normal in children with ADHD. These findings make sense because the brain areas that are reduced in size in children with ADHD are the very ones that regulate attention.
Genetics can also play a role in ADHD. According to research findings, ADHD has a heritability approaching 80 percent. In other words, this means that up to 80 percent of the differences in attention, hyperactivity and impulsivity between people with ADHD and those without the disorder can be explained by genetic factors.
Non-genetic factors that have been associated with ADHD include premature birth, maternal alcohol and tobacco use, exposure to high levels of lead in early childhood and brain injuries, especially those that involve the prefrontal cortex. But even together, these factors can account for only between 20 and 30 percent of ADHD cases among boys; among girls, they account for an even smaller percentage.
At one point, people believed that a poor home environment might be the cause of ADHD. However, the latest research findings increasingly point to biological causes for the disorder. Not all children from unstable or dysfunctional homes have ADHD. And not all children with ADHD come from dysfunctional families. Parents can heave a sigh of relief that this is something that is not their fault.
Another pet theory was that refined sugar and food additives make children hyperactive and inattentive. As a result, parents were encouraged to stop serving children foods containing artificial flavorings, preservatives, and sugars.
However, data from a later study lead scientists to conclude that the restricted diet only seemed to help about 5 percent of children with ADHD, mostly either young children or children with food allergies.
In addition, ADHD cannot be linked to too much TV or food allergies or poor schools.
Now we realize that some of this might sound like a lot of technical mumbo jumbo, but the bottom line is that there is no definitive cause that can be found. It could be a misfiring in the brain, it could be cause by genetics, it could be caused by situational factors – the truth is that ADHD is here, but we’re not really sure why.
There are many emotions that can come about when you have a child who has been diagnosed with ADHD. How do you deal with these?
NOT MY CHILD
In all actuality, the most prevalent feelings parents had upon learning an ADHD diagnosis for their child was – RELIEF! Do you find that hard to believe? That’s understandable, but it’s true. Most people expressed relief. Why?
They felt relief in knowing that there was a reason for their child’s behavior and relief in knowing that the reason was a medical one, and not a result of something the parents had control over or were responsible for.
It wasn't their parenting skills, they were not bad parents, nor was it the fault of a mother who felt that they were somehow responsible or had done something during pregnancy that caused their child to be this way.
It also gave many parents relief by knowing that they were not alone. For some, it even gave them insight as to how they behaved when they were a child.
Some of that relief stems from the possible thought that their child was acting unruly by choice. Before the diagnosis, they felt out of control as if it were their fault their child was out of control. Once the diagnosis was made, their feelings of guilt disappeared.
Of course, along with that relief came another feeling – helplessness. Many parents report that they felt completely alone and deprived of information or support for this new part of their lives. Most parents when told their child was suffering with ADD/ADHD are sent home with a prescription without any clues as to what their rights were, where to find help and support and what to expect.
Many parents have questions and they want answers. Questions such as, Will he grow out of it? Is this forever? What have we done wrong? How do we separate the truths from the fictions when it comes to information? How will this affect him in his life long learning process? Where to we go for support?
Often, the beginning of the diagnosis process begins at school. The teacher notices the behaviors and recommends the child be tested for ADHD. After that, things seem to be dropped on that end. The teacher assumes the parent will take care of the problem, the parent hopes the teacher will participate, and everyone thinks the doctor will present a cure-all.
Many parents report that when they are presented with the possibility their child has ADHD by an educator; they are given nothing else other than the verbal suggestion. They would like to have information more than anything else.
One parent says:
"It would have been helpful if the teachers and evaluation team had some information on hand for me to read. They told me my son has ADHD and an impulse problem, that he should be on medication, but never gave me anything to read to names of books, doctors or anywhere to turn."
They also wanted to have some type of “road map” that will help them guide their child toward success in school. They wanted reassurance that the child’s teacher would be working WITH them to insure their child’s academic advancement.
Some of that has changed with recent legislation regarding students with disabilities - and ADHD is a disability. But the reactions of parents are still the same: they want information, they want support, and they want help.
The reality is that you or your child has an illness – now definitely not a life-threatening illness, but an illness nonetheless. Illnesses need treatment.
The most common form of treatment used today is medication. While there is much controversy surrounding the drugging of our children, studies show that this is actually an effective way to manage the disorder.
TO MEDICATE OR NOT TO MEDICATE
For the past decade or so, there has been much controversy surrounding the use of medication to treat children with ADHD. For those who are properly diagnosed with ADHD, though, the appropriate medication can provide a tremendous benefit.
This position is supported by the findings of a 14-month nationwide cooperative study called the “Multimodal Treatment Study of Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.” Known as the MTA, the study involved nearly 600 children, ages 7 to 9, and was the first study to look at long-term treatment of ADHD children.
Essentially, the MTA’s findings – the first of which were released in December 1999 – show that ADHD children do best with treatment plans that include both medication and intensive counseling. It also showed that medication alone is the best treatment if behavioral therapy is unavailable.
The medication most closely associated with the treatment of ADHD is Ritalin. And though Ritalin used to be virtually the sole option for treating the disorder, the list of medications commonly used to treat ADHD has grown in recent years to include about a dozen different options.
The increased number of pharmacological options means that those with ADHD have more opportunity to find a medication that works well for them.
People are becoming more aware of the fact that stimulant medications can be so effective that it’s important to try different classes of them to find the right match for a child. Just because one doesn’t work, that doesn’t mean another won’t.
In recent years, new long-acting medications have grown in popularity. Where standard medications might be effective for three or four hours, the new long-acting ones typically remain effective long enough so that a child does not have to be dosed during school hours. The medication might also be effective long enough to carry a child through an after-school activity and even homework time. And there are other benefits as well.
Often children don’t like to be different. Going to the school nurse to get their medication makes them different. Also, for some children, the highs and lows of short-acting medications are harder to tolerate. When a medication is wearing off, not only do many children have a harder time paying attention, but they can also get tearful.
Another study, just released in the January 2003 issue of the AAP journal, Pediatrics, may help allay some parents’ fears about the use of stimulants to treat ADHD. This study, undertaken by Dr. Timothy Wilens, a child psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, found that children who take Ritalin or other stimulants to control the symptoms of ADHD actually cut their risk of future substance abuse by 50 percent compared to ADHD children who go untreated.
Patients with untreated ADHD are at increased risk for developing substance abuse, likely due to self-medicating. By treating ADHD with stimulants, the risk of abuse actually diminishes substantially.
What kinds of medicines are likely to be prescribed to treat ADHD? The list is extensive.
SPECIFIC MEDICATIONS
Some medicines used to treat attention-deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are called psychostimulants. Some of these drugs are methylphenidate (brand names: Concerta, Ritalin), dextroamphetamine (brand names: Dexedrine, Dextrostat), d- and l-amphetamin racemic mixture (brand name: Adderall), and pemoline (brand name: Cylert). Although these medicines have a stimulating effect in most people, they have a calming effect in children and adults with ADHD.
Other types of medicine sometimes used to treat ADHD include atomoxetine (brand name: Stratera), clonidine (brand name: Catapres), desipramine (brand name: Norpramin), imipramine (brand name: Tofranil) and buproprion (brand name: Wellbutrin).
Of course, all medications have side effects. Psychostimulants may cause a decreased appetite, a stomachache or a headache. The loss of appetite can cause weight loss in some people.
This side effect seems to be more common in children. Some people have insomnia (trouble sleeping). Here are some ways to avoid side effects (like a fast heart beat, chest pain or vomiting) when taking psychostimulants:
- Use the lowest possible dose that still controls the hyperactivity. Your doctor will tell you the right dose.
- Take the medicine with food to avoid stomach problems.
- Plan to use the weekends as drug-free days. This means, don't take any ADHD medicines on Saturday and Sunday. However, ask your doctor before you try this.
- Children who lose weight while taking medicine for ADHD can have extra healthy snacks during the day.
It's important to take the medicine just the way your doctor says--not more often and not less often. Follow your doctor's advice even if you think the medicine isn't working. Be sure to talk with your doctor if you think the medicine isn't working.
It's best to take the medicine 30 to 45 minutes before a meal. Good times to take this medicine are before breakfast and before lunch. Lunch-time doses can be given at school for some children.
If your child can't take this medicine at school, tell your doctor. Your doctor might suggest a long-acting form of the medicine instead. The long-acting form of this medicine should not be crushed, broken or chewed before swallowing. The long-acting forms are taken only once a day, right before breakfast.
It's also important to know that some of the medicines used to treat ADHD are called "controlled" drugs. There are special rules about the way controlled drugs can be prescribed, because these drugs could be used the wrong way.
The prescriptions for controlled drugs, like methylphenidate and dextroamphetamine, must be refilled at the drug store every month. At some doctors' offices, these prescriptions are only written on 1 day of the month.
The medicines used to treat ADHD have been shown to improve a person's ability to do a specific task, such as pay attention or have more self-control in certain situations. It is not known whether these medicines can improve broader aspects of life, such as relationships or learning and reading skills.
People with ADHD should be checked regularly by their doctors. During these check ups, the doctor will want to hear what the parents have to say about a child with ADHD. Your doctor may suggest that your child take a break from his or her medicines once in a while to see if the medicine is still necessary.
Talk with your doctor about the best time to do this--school breaks or summer vacation might be best. The teacher's comments about the child are also important. The doctor will want to check a person with ADHD after the medicine dose has been changed.
The length of time a person takes the medicine depends on each person. Everyone is different. Some people only need a short treatment, for 1 to 2 years. Some people need treatment for years. In some people, ADHD may continue into adolescence and adulthood.
There is a school of thought among parents that they do not want their young child to be medicated to treat ADHD. They feel like they will be “doping up” their child and not doing them any good. That’s a personal decision, but some type of treatment MUST be given for these kids.
Many medical professionals feel that a combination of medication and behavioral modifications provide the most effective treatment of ADHD. Behavior changes can also help the parent who doesn’t want to medicate. What types of behavior modifications should be implemented? Many!
BEHAVIOR CHANGES
Many physicians hope that behavioral therapy in the treatment of ADHD will begin to take flight and be the emphasis in effective treatment of the disorder. What steps can you take in behavior modification to minimize the symptoms of ADHD? The answer is – SO MUCH!
The basic principles of treatment – for adults and children both – are structure, lifestyle changes and finding and developing talent. There is a lot of focus on the medication, but you build a life on identifying your talent and pursuing it.
Start by helping children find and develop their talents. That is very important and is often overlooked. What happens is people look for what’s wrong and how to remediate the problems. And so, the child is given the message that he’s a walking defect. What builds a sense of confidence and joy in life is helping a child find something that he or she is good at.
What many people who suffer from ADHD lack is structure. Planning out the steps it takes to accomplish daily tasks – for instance, getting ready for school or completing homework – lets everyone know what expectations are.
With many kids, you can take each day as it comes and there may not be a huge amount of structure. But that’s really hard for these kids. You can get in a tug-of-war over that and have a lot of frustration.
When it comes to instruction, keep it brief and to the point. An ADHD child’s attention will drift if instructions for anything are too long and rambling. For both parents and teachers, this means it’s best to break down tasks into little pieces.
A hugely effective tool is to emphasize the positive and downplay the negative whenever you possibly can. These kids hear ‘no’ 50 times a day. Perhaps the biggest challenge is pulling out what the child is doing right and focusing on those things.
Try using “labeled praise”. Labeled praise clearly defines what is positive about a child’s actions. For instance, “You did a great job of cleaning up” would be more effective than simply saying “Thank you for helping me.”
Work as a team with everyone involved. This means home, school, doctor, etc. Collaboration between home and school is essential. It’s important to have everybody on the same page. This could be accomplished in various ways.
One especially effective one is to keep a daily diary that the child carries back and forth between home and school. The parent writes in the diary the child’s behavior at home. Conversely, the teacher writes in the diary the child’s behavior at school.
Not only does this concept provide a written record of behavior, but it can also give a tremendous amount of insight into what is happening with the child in different situations.
You can also try using token economics. This is a tool that is often used in schools to promote good behavior. Some people feel that this is ridiculous. Rewarding a child for behavior they should be exhibiting anyway seems like a condescending way to approach behavior management.
But the truth is that ADHD kids must have reinforcement such as rewards. It gives them something tangible to hold onto and something to look forward to.
Keep in mind that ADHD children have a serious problem controlling their own behavior. Their head might be telling them to “behave”, but their disorder prevents them from doing so.
Setting up a system to use in the classroom and at home for children to earn points they can exchange for other rewards or privileges – such as computer time or an activity – can provide kids with great incentive to adjust behavior. You should also involve the child by allowing him or her to develop a menu of rewards.
Children have a naturally short attention span. It is for this very reason that you should give immediate feedback along with consequences for behavior and activities. Feedback must be clear, specific, and occur as close to the time after the behavior that it refers to.
This feedback should be given often. Parents need to tell ADHD children how they are faring in whatever activity they are involved in or how well they are conducting themselves at very short intervals.
Feedback can be in the form of praise or compliments but should specify exactly what the child has done to earn it. It can also be in the form of physical affection like a hug, extra privileges or occasionally a food treat.
ADHD children have reduced sensitivity to rewards and other consequences. Hence, larger and more important rewards are needed to motivate them to perform, follow rules or behave well. Make the consequences powerful and worth avoiding or earning.
Dole out the positive comments before the negative ones. Try not to make punishment the first step in suppressing undesirable behavior. They should attempt to glean some positive aspect from the child’s behavior and reward that aspect. Punishment when given should be mild and specific to a particular behavior.
Above all, be consistent. As parents of a troubled child, it’s easy to give in more often than we should, but this is the exact time when we can’t do so. Parents should strive to react in the same manner over a period of time to the child’s behavior whenever it occurs.
In addition, they will need to be persistent when dealing with a ADHD child, as they are not exactly the most obedient kind. Even if parents feel that their efforts are going to waste, they need to stick to the disciplinary program or they will not see the fruits of their hard work.
Respond in the same way whether it be at home, at school, or anywhere else. Parents of ADHD children often tend to respond to the same behavior differently at home and in public. They must avoid this as it puts a spoke in all the wheel of all their disciplinary efforts. The ADHD child needs to know that the rules and consequences expected to occur at home will also apply away from home.
Do not in any way contradict another parent or authority figure when the child can observe this behavior. Cohesiveness is important. If the child knows that they have one person who they can go to who will let the rules slide, they win. ADHD kids need consistency. If you undermine each other’s behavior, you are taking steps back and not helping your child at all.
You must be equipped to handle problem situations. ADHD children can be difficult and disruptive in the most public of places and parents tend to get caught on the wrong foot every time. Most parents can anticipate a problem situation. What they have to do is devise a strategy to deal with it in advance so that they are prepared when it happens. They will need to make all the rules clear to their children in advance too. Thus, when the problem occurs, both parent and child know the routine.
Make sure you have everything in perspective. Well, maybe not everything. That might be impossible, but you at least have to have perspective when it comes to your child and his or her illness.
Dealing with an ADHD child is no joke. Parents of such children often find that they are frustrated, enraged, and embarrassed. However, they must remember at all times that they are the adults and cannot afford to lose control. If both parent and child were to lose their cool, the situation would deteriorate rapidly. In any case, ADHD children are victims of a disorder and often cannot help the way they behave.
Make lists. Seriously – as many lists as you can. And teach your child to do the same. These lists should include tasks that need completed, dates to be remembered, and activities that need to be attended.
Provide them with a reward for completing their tasks, checking things off their lists, and remembering important dates. Keep in mind that these kids tend to brush off anything and everything in favor of whatever is in front of them at the time. When they are able to complete tasks and remember important dates, they will eventually modify their behavior to make it commonplace.
These kids have excess energy. It’s a fact. It is for that very reason that you need to provide some type of outlet for this energy. Encourage your child to participate in a hobby or activity that allows them to blow off the steam that naturally occurs in their body.
Accept their limitations. This could be one of the most important coping strategies we can mention. Whether you like it or not, your child has limitations. An ADHD child is never going to be a model child. So don’t hit your head against a brick wall trying to make him one. Try to see the virtues in your child and help him make the most of them.
